Note: I started writing this post when my previous relationship was still in the midst of turmoil – when I was still trapped by my own fears.   I finished this post after that relationship had ended – when I’d finally given myself permission to conquer my fears.

“Whatever it is that frightens you has frightened someone before you. Fear is universal. It touches everyone – but it clearly doesn’t stop everyone.” ~Arianna Huffington

Girl Power.

During the WordCamp speaker’s dinner this year I burst into tears while talking with Giovanni Gallucci and Liz Strauss.  I excused myself from the table – and went outside for some air and hopefully a little perspective.  I’d been going through a really difficult time the last few months (personally, professionally & physically), and I had finally gotten to the point where I couldn’t pretend anymore. I couldn’t pretend that I was fine. I couldn’t pretend to be happy. I couldn’t pretend that everything was going to magically be all right. When I got back to the table, I apologized – and then briefly told Giovanni how my world had recently crashed down on me.  I told him how scared, hurt, and lonely I felt.  And how I feared that I’d never be able to recover.   He gave me some good advice, and then he told me that from that point forward he was going to commit to following me around everywhere I went humming “I’m Every Woman” – my own personal theme song.

I laughed.  But secretly I loved the idea.  From time to time I still find myself humming “I’m Every Woman” when I walk into client meetings.

Finding My Everyday Power.

The truth is – I felt helpless.  I had lost my personal power.

I found it again in the most unusual place.

Late one night while browsing through my facebook photos I stumbled on a photo of me and 3 other women from Gary Vaynerchuck’s Jimmy Fallon Viewing Party in New York.  I don’t even remember taking this photo – but there I was standing next to Cathy Brooks, Randi Zuckerberg, and Julia Allison.  Three Amazing women.  Three Fearless Women.  Three Women who refuse to apologize for who they are – who stand up for the courage of their own convictions – and who seem to believe that fortune truly does favor the BOLD.

Cathy Brooks practically a legend in Social Media, Randy Zuckerberg the Grand Dame of Facebook, and Julia Allison the world’s foremost expert on Personal Branding.  I remembered that Julia had recently been on the cover of Wired Magazine, but I’d never actually read the article.  In fact, of the 3 women, she was the one that I knew the least about.

I ran a quick search in Google for Julia Allison, and then I spent the next 3 hours reading her blog on NonSociety, watching her lipdub videos on Vimeo, and reading her dating column in Time Out NY.  I never expected to like her so much.

She was smart, witty, and stunningly beautiful.  But she was also naked, raw, and intensely vulnerable.  She lived Fearlessly.  And I found my own fears disappearing with every sentence I read.  I decided then and there that I wasn’t going to spend another minute lying in bed feeling sorry for myself.  Instead – I was going to develop a deep and complete acceptance of myself.  Just as I am.  Right now.

Suddenly Surrounded By Women of Power.

And when I finally dragged my pitiful self out of bed, I looked around and found that I was surrounded by Amazing, Powerful, Fearless Women.  And the next time I looked in the mirror – I wasn’t helpless anymore.

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Photo by blue_j

It is my belief that there are 2 types of women in the world.  Extra Ornament Women, and Women Who Need An Extra Ornament.  And I will always be the latter.  Let me explain.

Recently, I attended the Women’s Chamber of Commerce Holiday Luncheon.  It was an intimate affair held at the Sheraton Galleria – with great food and even better company.  When I arrived I checked in, and immediately realized that I was without Ornament.  There was to be a Christmas Ornament Exchange after lunch – and I had shown up empty handed.

The truth is I didn’t even know there was going to be an Ornament Exchange.  I hadn’t read that far in the email.  I generally just skim event emails for the time and location – sometimes I don’t even know the name or purpose of an event until it’s halfway over.

But luckily for me – there are Extra Ornament Women in the world.  These are the women you can always count on to pick up the slack – women who both notice and relish the details of life.  They are my saviors.

At this particular luncheon it was Sheila Harrison who saved me.  She brought 2 extra ornaments for the exchange.  Just in case someone (like me) forgot to bring one.

Over dinner tonight at Sandy McGee’s in Richmond, Carey (the Great Oaks Manor Innkeeper) was telling me about a women who used to bring wet folded wash clothes in individual plastic sandwich bags to all the Little League games so the boys could wash their hands between innings.  That woman is an Extra Ornament Woman.  I’m sure of it.

Extra Ornament Women come in all shapes and sizes, all ages and nationalities.  She’s the girl you knew in High School who would always bring extra poster board when you were working on team projects.  And she’s the woman who always remembers to bring an extra gift to a holiday gift exchange.

So are you an Extra Ornament Woman or a Woman Who Needs An Extra Ornament?

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Photo by miss_rogue

When I was a little girl my family went through some really tough financial times. I remember going with my mother to get gas and being embarrassed when she paid with a roll of dimes. But my Mother wasn’t embarrassed. She was doing what she had to do to raise her family. I was both ashamed and inspired by her at the same time.

This week’s theme is FEARLESSNESS, and every time I hear that word I think of the Fearless women who have inspired me through the years (my Mom included). Later this week I’ll be doing a full length post on the Amazingly Fearless Women in my life, but first let me introduce the Goals and Book of the Week for Week 2 of ReinventingErica.com.

Book Of The Week

It probably comes as no surprise that I’ve chosen Arianna Huffington’s On Becoming Fearless as this week’s book of the week.  This was one of my favorite books from 2008, and I’m looking forward to reading it again.  Fearlessness is one of the qualities I’ve always aspired to and longed for…a word that I’ve never imagined being able to apply to myself.  Generally I see myself as an over-educated, self-conscious weakling who’s still scared of the boggie man hiding in her closet.  So I’m looking forward to cultivating a little more Fearlessness in my life this week.

Goals for the Week

Last week I set what I consider to be foundational goals.  Goals that I hoped once mastered would create a foundation for future goals.  To recap, the goals from Week One were: 1) Get Enough Sleep, 2) Become A Morning Person, 3) Drink More Water, 4) Let Go of Perfection, 5) Practice Daily Meditation, 6) Laugh.  I’ll be carrying over a couple of these goals that I’ve haven’t quite mastered from Week One, while adding in a couple of new goals for this week.

• Become A Morning Person (this is carried over from Week One – going from night owl to early bird is much harder than I thought)
• Drink More Water (I definitely drank more water last week then I usually do – but I’m still struggling with drinking a full 8-10 glasses of water a day)
• Workout at least 1 hour every day
• Write with more Honesty and Vulnerability
• Do at least one thing that scares me every day
• Laugh

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According to Wikipedia, International Women’s Day (IWD) has been celebrated on March 8th since the early 1900′s.  In fact, IWD was established in part due to the poor working conditions brought on by Industrialism.  Today, IWD “celebrates the economic, political, and social achievements of women past, present, and future”.  In several countries (including China & Russia), IWD is a nationally recognized holiday.

In celebration of women everywhere – I’d like to take a moment and thank all the amazing women who have made a difference in my life.

First I’d like to thank my Mother.  The hardest thing about getting older – is knowing that one day (probably sooner than I would like) – my mother will pass on.  The thought of living in a world without her love, support, and guidance is beyond difficult.  But my hope is that I will honor her by creating my own personal legacy, and that through my actions her light will always shine.

I’d also like to thank my dear friends – women who have proven to me that real friendships between other women are not only possible but, between the right women can have incredible depth, intimacy, respect, and love.  This includes all the Women of Ladies Who Lunch & Comfort Food Club.  Ladies who have listened to me, held my hand in tough times, cheered my accomplishments, and supported me no matter what.  I’d also like to offer special thanks to Tara Hunt, Jen Myronuk, Tracey Lee Wallace, Karen Hartline, Marianne Masculino, Monica Danna, Laura Mayes, Jenny Lawson, Ruth Kalinka, Sloane Berrent, Kristie Wells, Silona Bonewald, Kimberly Blessing, Tracy Manford, Nicole Jordan, Laura Fitton, Jackie Peters, Alexandra Mokh, Sarah Lacy, Olivia Hines, and Natalie Lent for always making me feel welcome in their lives and in their homes.  The problem with making a list like this – is that you always invariably leave off someone you meant to include.  So, if your name hasn’t been included here…please forgive me because it just means I’m human and I forgot.

Happy International Women’s Day – be sure and thank a woman in your life today.  Chocolates are always nice!

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