I am in, what feels like at least, the worst pain of my life. I haven’t been able to feel or process it all yet because I have continuously been surrounded by friends – and Love.
These are the facts. Last week I woke up with the man I thought was the love of my life. A man I trusted completely. Loved unconditionally – and wanted to spend my life with.
We had sex. He made me a beautiful breakfast. We sat on the couch for a while together. Then went to lunch at ModMarket and to Longmont to run errands. We worked at a coffee house for a while. In the car on the way home he started a fight with me, we then made up. I left to work. We FaceTimed a few times. Everything seemed fine – but I felt an anxiety in my gut. I drove home to find he had taken all his things and left. Out of the blue.
Then the nasty text messages started. Then the truth came out. Everything he had ever told me was a lie. And as a result of his lies, I now found myself in a pretty difficult personal position.
I’m crushed that our whole relationship was a lie. I’m sad the very real love I felt was based on an illusion.
I know I’m not the first person who has experienced something like this, nor will I be the last. But it is soul crushing.
This is not the first time he has run like this when he was on the verge of being exposed. He did the same thing to his second wife in 2006.
This wasn’t about me. This was about him. He’s been on a runaway train for a long, long time.
I loved the man I thought he was with everything I had. Up until he left, we were never cruel to one another. He was always kind to me. Always made me feel safe, loved, and protected.
My heart aches, but I also recognize I’ve dodged a bullet.
To Aric – I loved you. I was good and kind to you. I’m sorry you felt the need to do this. I will move on and put this behind me – cause that’s what I know how to do. Continue under all circumstances.
I wish you enough.