I’m writing this post sitting in my dining room – naked. Seemed fitting, given the day.
My mother likes to tell a story about how when I was growing up, during the period when she was a single mom struggling to make ends meet, she spent months saving up to buy me a scooter for my birthday. I had been begging her for one. About a week after she gave it to me, she came home one day and asked me where it was? “Oh…I gave it to Suzy…cause she didn’t have one…and she really really wanted one.”
My mother says I was always doing things like that. She was distraught and infuriated because she had worked so hard to buy me something I wanted, at the same time she was touched by my kindness and generosity.
There are times when I am too kind and too generous – when I need to put myself first instead of last. This is one of those times. This might be the first time I have been able to articulate so clearly and firmly what I want – and to ask those closest to me for space – and understanding.
A friend who I am starting to believe truly cares for me, asked me this morning if he could come visit? I told him I needed to think about it. He was the first person to wish me Happy Birthday today. And he didn’t have the benefit of Facebook to remind him – so I appreciated it all the more. We’ve known one another a long time. We’ve seen each other at our worst – and in better days too. And his friendship matters to me. I want to state that here for the record. This is a friendship that is real, that is filled with respect and trust – and which is important to me.
Why is it in life that we always make such a mess out of timing? Or maybe, everything is unfolding exactly as it should?
Either way, Happy Birthday to me.