Non-Zero Sum Game

EricaFeatured0 Comments

“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.”Anaïs Nin
I believe in a God of love. My God plays a non-zero sum game.

Growing up in the US where competition is revered and winning at all costs is the defacto standard – wrapping your head around a non-zero sum game can be difficult. What is the point if everyone wins?

You see, love (real love) is always a non-zero sum game. When we love, the happiness of the other person, in turn, brings happiness to us. We might not always get what we thought we wanted. But love isn’t about control, love is about freedom.

I’ve never loved a place as much as I love Boulder. Heck, I’ve never loved a person as much as I love Boulder. I’ve spent the last 4.5 years having a love affair with this city. Boulder and I have played a non-zero sum game – and we have both won.

Last night I was reminded I need to get a new passport. When I asked where we are going – he said Mexico. An hour later I was looking up surf lessons in Baja and imagining for a brief moment what it would be like to not live in Boulder full time. Could I really leave my precious bubble?


In the meantime, I’m gonna go make memories in this place I love.

I was thinking today – what have I never done? Well, I’ve never had dinner at Frasca, or watched a CU Football Game, or peddled down Pearl while drinking beer in that crazy wagon. This week I’m gonna make a Boulder Bucket List – all the things I plan to do before heading to some warmer climate.

If you knew you only had a year left to live – where would you live? What would you do with your last 525,600 minutes? Who would you want by your side? What would you change about today so you wouldn’t have any regrets tomorrow?

How would you live to your highest potential, moment to moment? The Greeks call this living with Arete. Arete is a type of moral virtue akin to excellence or goodness.

I challenge you to live today and every day with Arete. We, none of us, know how little time we have left – nor can we truly fathom how precious each moment is. Stop doing shit you hate. Start telling people you love them – before it’s too late. Time is always against us. Always.

STOP PLAYING ZERO SUM GAMES. Trust me, winning at all costs isn’t worth the price.


“To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.”J.K. Rowling

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