I was going to write a very different blog post today. Then D called, and we had another heart-to-heart. Talking about the state of our hearts.
Today was a big day for him. A hard day. Like me, he has been holding onto hope. Hope that despite the pain, the fear, the betrayal – somehow – in some way – two people could find their way back to one another. That trust could be rebuilt. That love would conquer all. Except we both know, only too well, that love is not the problem. And love alone is not enough.
He said it this way, “There was still one thread of my heart holding on…today that thread broke”.
Ouch. I know this experience well.
I stopped him in the middle of telling me a story to say, “Your heart is hurting today, huh?”
Lately, D is my happy place. I’m not completely certain if that is fair to him or not. We use each other in different ways, but at least we’re honest about it. And there is nothing more important to me than the truth. Well, maybe words…and the truth.
I went running today for the first time in a while. The air felt like spring. I didn’t cry. Not once. Healing in full effect.
Running, silence, meditation, yoga, reading – solitary activities bring your intuition back into alignment. You can only “trust your gut” when you feed your well. Frequent (daily) recalibration is necessary.
There is that scene in the movies (generally in dramas) where birds fly overhead symbolizing change. Change is unavoidable. Threads break. Hearts mend.
We begin again.