That Time I Lost It

EricaFeatured0 Comments

Some people call it a Breakdown. Brene Brown’s therapist calls it a “Spiritual Awakening”. That moment when you lose it – and you’re so completely lost inside yourself you don’t care what anyone thinks.  You don’t care what you look like, whether you’ve showered, you’re completely oblivious to the booger hanging out of your nose, your red, blotchy, tear-stained cheeks, or (for my fellow lady humans) the fact that you’re wearing shorts and haven’t shaved in a month. ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKS are left to be given. If you’re nodding right now, trust me you are not alone. We’ve all been there.

That was me around 11pm last night.

Not only did I lose it in a colossal way – I did it publicly – on Social Media. Instagram to be specific. Luckily I was out of it enough to be using one of my auxiliary accounts and NOT my main account. But, if you happened to catch my tirade – you already know how spectacular my little awakening was.

Sober me deleted everything this morning, but I’m not sorry for anything I said. I’m a firm believer that we need to feel things. All the things. Rejection. Abandonment. Fear. Disappointment. Joy. Excitement. Love. ALL OF THE THINGS. Feeling things is a wonderful gift. Feeling things is your reminder that you are ALIVE.

And totally losing it means something stirred a passion so deep inside of you it could not be contained. Fighting that is like trying to stop Vesuvius from erupting.

That’s why I’m giving you permission to let yourself LOSE IT! Let go of your need to show up in the world polished and perfect. Let your hair down…but don’t stop there. Ugly cry without apology. Scream and shout if that’s what it takes. Speak your truth. Keep your head held high.

Your ability to feel, to want, to long for, to wish things could be different – is universal. This is what makes you human. And the biggest gift you can give the world – is showing up as your imperfectly perfect self.

Now go out in the world and KEEP BEING YOU. There is only one. #BeHelpful


Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity. Pema Chodron

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