My mother Dee teaches Culinary Arts, and my step-father Bob comes from a long line of Great Cooks. Between the two of them, they are more creative in the kitchen than Martha Stewart & Dan Barber combined.
Growing up in my home was like being on a constant and never-ending food safari. One night we’d cook oriental delights around the gold-plated Hibachi in the formal dining room, another my parents would make homemade Tabbouleh with Baba Ganoush and Falafel, or Grilled Tandoori Chicken with Saag Paneer. Last time I went home they made Salmon Burgers with a Jalapeno Chipotle Mayo, using Jicama for the buns. Once in a blue moon, my step-dad Bob also makes a dish he calls DAB. He’ll clean out all the leftovers in the fridge, adding them to a bowl with various spices and condiments. The result is always something that looks frightening but tastes delicious. In case you’re wondering, DAB is BAD spelled backwards.
Until recently, I believed that they were members of some Secret Society of Impromptu Chefs. I’ve rarely seen either one of them use a recipe. To me, “Being A Great Impromptu Cook” was as much a black box as “Being Able to Play Piano by Ear” or “Being a Fiction Writer” or yes even “Being an Artist”. It was a talent reserved and relegated to a select group of people born with the natural ability to understand which ingredients would go best together, and how to combine foods to create delightful and delectable culinary masterpieces.
But then I met Carey Gravelle – the owner of Great Oaks Manor Bed & Breakfast in Richmond, Tx. Carey is a Pastry Chef and Baker (she even owned a famous bakery in Portland at one time). Carey is a lot like my parents, she hardly ever uses a recipe, preferring instead to experiment with whatever ingredients happen to be on hand. But, unlike my parents she doesn’t affect the same level of confidence. She’ll openly admit that some queer combination may or may not work. And that’s when I finally got it. That’s when a light went off in my head. Cooking really is an Experiment.
Growing up – everything my parents cooked was excellent. I never had a meal that wasn’t amazing. So I asked my mother about that, and she told me that they messed up lots of dinners. We just didn’t eat them. They would make something else instead, or do emergency damage control. But because I never saw them mess up a meal, I always assumed that I had not inherited the “cooking gene” (the same was true with Gardening…but I’ll leave that for another day).
Cooking as an Experiment was something I could understand. I practically invented the concept of Life Experimentation (okay so AJ Jacobs invented it, but I plan to popularize it). This was just one more medium in which to practice my art.
I’ve spent the last few decades of my life feeling inadequate about my cooking abilities. The truth is, the mere thought of cooking would often fill me with fear and dread. But with this one small change in perspective, this tiny paradigm shift, I’ve been able to begin to explore cooking from a place of experimentation and play. And through confronting my fears, I’ve found a new path to fearlessness.
Which makes sense on lots of levels. According to Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche “it is impossible to know fearlessness without knowing fear”.
For me the fear of cooking was composed of 2 distinct fears.
- The Fear that I didn’t know enough.
- The Fear that I wouldn’t be good enough.
And it turns out that these fears are universal, and apply to far more than just cooking. But it was through embracing my lack of knowledge and overcoming my feelings of inadequacy that I was finally able to experiment with food. And what I’ve found is that I’m not a terrible cook. In fact, I’ve got real potential.
“Whatever it is that frightens you has frightened someone before you. Fear is universal. It touches everyone – but it clearly doesn’t stop everyone.” ~Arianna Huffington
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Erica OGrady is the CXO of Peanut Butter Media. She is currently HOMELESS while working on a project called Twilight & Tea. Erica is a Writer, Adventurer, Explorer who Still Believes in Santa and Following Your Bliss -- For more information Text ERICAOGRADY to 50500
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I think its is amazing how you can take something like cooking and apply it to fear and life. Uhhh, you are so good.
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