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Some things are harder for me to talk about then others. Actually a lot of things are hard for me to talk about. Mostly because I have a lot of Shame, Guilt, Unease, or Uncertainty associated with far too many topics. I was talking to one of my bestfriends Tara about two such topics earlier today. And I remember being both relieved and reassured when I found that her fears so closely mirrored my own.
And that got me to thinking about what it is that connects us to each other. I think deep down the thing we want to know most is that we aren’t alone. That the things we think and feel in our moments of greatest triumph and despair are shared by others. We want to know that we’re “normal”. But at the exact same time we want to feel “special” and “unique”. We seem to be constantly walking on a perilous tight-rope over egg-shells. Just one misstep and we’ll fall, and the world will see us naked, exposed, and covered in egg.
But what’s so wrong with that?
Have you ever read something or seen something on TV that made you cringe? Something that was so raw that you felt embarrassed for a complete stranger? Or worse, you felt pity for them? I think that’s what we’re all avoiding. We don’t want to have people pity us or look down on us. We don’t want to make a spectacle of our lives. And so we hide. We lie. We tell half-truths. We avoid reality. We wear an almost impenetrable social mask.
But I’ve been watching the people who succeed in life, and one of the things I’ve noticed about a great majority of them, is that they recognize the value of the human condition. And they find a way to leverage that to their advantage. Let’s call this “The Oprah Effect”. Think about it. What is Oprah selling? Happiness? Tragedy? Enlightenment? Compassion? Outrage? Joy? She’s selling stories. Our stories. Human stories. She’s built a Multi-Billion Dollar Empire selling the common human condition. And we love her for it. We love her for showing us that we are not alone. That no matter how messed up our lives seem, there is someone out there just as messed up as we are.
And we’ll love other people who can show us the same thing. We’ll love them for their bravery. We’ll love them for their honesty. For their vulnerability. For their willingness to stand naked in the crowd and dare to speak the words that we’re all thinking but too afraid to say.
So what’s your story? Your real story? Share with me. I’m ready to listen.
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Erica OGrady is the CXO of Peanut Butter Media. She is currently HOMELESS while working on a project called Twilight & Tea. Erica is a Writer, Adventurer, Explorer who Still Believes in Santa and Following Your Bliss -- For more information Text ERICAOGRADY to 50500
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Erica – A few weeks ago, I posted one of my many real "stories": http://bit.ly/aUp6hv (because I think we all have so many, no?)
Reading your post today brought tears to my eyes as I believe so strongly in the power of sharing our stories & our truths so that others will have the courage to do so. In the grand scheme of life, my desire to write is not a unique one, but examining the choices I've made to get me where I am today (being honest about them & owning them) was powerful for me with that post. Over the years, I find that the posts I most enjoy writing & the ones that resonate most with readers are the ones that are unflinchingly honest and in which, uncomfortable as it may be, I plainly reveal my own insecurities & weaknesses.
Your willingness to share your truths & insecurities as well as all the joys in between is wonderful and much needed and makes reading your work an inspiration.
How about this? I promise to continue writing with unflinching honesty about all my messes if you do! For the greater good!
Deal. You're a fantastic writer Callie. And I have no doubt in my mind that you will one day be a novelist in your own right
I think it comes down to making that decision and refusing to look back. To Decide means to cut off from all other choices.
Aw, now you're just making me blush! Thank you so much. You are right about making that decision and not looking back. "To decide means to cut off from all other choices" is…soooo scary. So true, but so scary. That is the choice that it ahead of me and as I weigh the other really intriguing choices, I lose sight of the writing.
As I mentioned in my reply to you on my blog, writing is definitely the thing that matters to me most. The basic fear in wanting something so much is, what if I'm a big mess at it? As in: what if that one thing that I most want to do, I can't ultimately do? Much easier to hem and haw on the sidelines & have the excuse that "if I had applied myself I could have done something amazing" rather than know that "i did apply myself and it wasn't amazing."
The next few months will be about filtering through the choices and deciding which ones I'm okay to close the door on, which windows I'd like to leave open, and which path (or two!) I'll ultimately be taking.
Thank you for your kind words. I look forward to future dialogue on this!