Comments on: On Strength

By: Brian

Brian — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 03:19:44 +0000

erica, check my blog. i wrote my response.

By: Kelsey Ruger

Kelsey Ruger — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 14:07:50 +0000

#19 is interesting. Is that an absolute requirement. I think starting a business with a significant other is probably the toughest thing you can do. Good list. It's always good to have something to aspire to. #6 must be from your 'too good to be true' filter. Good looking guys doesn't have to equate with cheating anymore than good looking girls equates to stuck up bitchiness.

By: WisTex

WisTex — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 16:29:21 +0000

Go ahead and make your list, even the stuff you would never admit in public. (You don't have to post those, but you should at least know for yourself. lol). But the point is be super clear about what you want, and you would be amazed how the right person shows up with combinations of what you want you never thought possible. And maybe not a ninja, but martial arts and cookies actually ARE possible, and come to think of it, I think I actually did meet a woman who knew martial arts and loved to cook too. So your request is not impossible.

The next step is to be real. Be yourself and be clear about what you are looking for. The wrong ones will not be interested, and the right ones will be attracted to you like a magnet.

When I created my list for a "perfect woman" who I never expected to actually exist, I did it mostly as a mental exercise and to also to get clear on what I didn't want. I expected to get 50% or less of my wildest dreams. After all, no woman could possibly have ALL of these traits, right?

Then, I started meeting women who were similar to the list, to my amazement. Where were all these women before? And then, I met the one. Who fit the list like a glove. Not 100% but so close I am still shocked to this day. And there were even bonuses I did not even think of.

There is someone for everyone. Clarity and authenticity are like a magnet. The compatible sides attract, and the non compatible sides repel. Don't worry about the non-compatible ones. The compatible ones will adore you for you.

Good luck, and go ahead an make that list. Be flexible enough to allow variations of a theme, but also know what you want, and probably more importantly, what you don't want.

By: WisTex

WisTex — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 16:10:31 +0000

I wanted to make a comment about taking the risk and starting a business together. This can either be the most wonderful thing in the world, or the worst thing in the world, because it magnifies the dynamics of a relationship, in either a good way or bad way.

Running a business together requires that you two truly be partners, in all ways, to a much greater extent than if you were just a couple and did not run a business. If you have separate careers, when you are not being good partners, you can run away to work to escape. When in a business together, you cannot do that, you are locked at the hip.

They say that you should be more careful picking a business partner than you are picking your spouse. After all, if you pick the wrong one, I think you know what could happen. However, if you pick the right one, and you have a business together, and you and your spouse are willing to be true partners, then you two will become one, an unstoppable team who creates a wonderful life together.

There is someone out there for everyone, so I know that you can get what you want. I got totally clear about what I wanted in a woman, and, amazingly, we found each other, and are taking the steps to move together. I wish you luck. And yet, I know you do not need luck, because you create your own luck.

By: Erica OGrady

Erica OGrady — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 17:26:29 +0000

Brian – I wish you would! That's a post I'd love to read Let me know if you end up writing it, and I'll add it to an update here.

By: Brian Breslin

Brian Breslin — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 16:42:05 +0000

As the second guy to comment on this, i think this is a great exercise. i'd be tempted to make my own list for what my ideal woman was, but for some reason i think i'd catch flack for it ("no woman is trained as a ninja AND can bake cookies") though maybe I should post something to see how react.

By: Nicole Jordan

Nicole Jordan — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 09:58:36 +0000

Ya know, sometimes it's just hard to communicate, even for us communicators. Feelings and matters of the heart are scary scary things to put on the table. But you have to, that's the rub. To experience life and to taste it with all its ups and downs there is no other choice. Thinking what we WANT is minute; knowing what we NEED is monumental. But once you know, if you don't voice it, who is to blame? Ya gotta show your cards and if they walk away, be OK with it. They can't hang. But if they show you theirs…maybe it's a match. And, really, that's what we're looking for here right? Luvs to you.

By: Sarah E. Welch

Sarah E. Welch — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 05:22:12 +0000

I'm super stubborn, too! I honestly didn't think I would find someone I could deal with or could manage to live with me. I even considered being a spy, because I didn't think that would happen. Thankfully, I was wrong! There can be a lot of power in giving up *some* control. As hard as it's been for me to learn, sometimes someone else's approach is the right one. (Just don't tell Rich I said that )

By: Erica OGrady

Erica OGrady — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 05:17:07 +0000

Sarah – I love the way you worded that: "Talented & Intelligent in different ways than me". That is perhaps what I really meant. I just want someone who peaks my intellectual curiosity daily.

Did I mention I'm stubborn? That would be why I'm hesitant to consider a relationship with anyone at this point. But yes, Mr. S does seem to have my attention these days whether I like it or not.

By: Erica OGrady

Erica OGrady — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 04:14:00 +0000

Todd that's awesome! I'm afraid I don't have a husband…and I rather like being single. But, I would be open to a relationship with a person like I described above I think I might be setting a new bar for High Expectations!