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On The Fears We All Share
I want my life to stand for something. I want my life to have meaning. I want to know that what I’m doing matters 1. I want to be “Good Enough”, whatever that means. I want to stop feeling like I’ve entered into some competition that I’m never going to win – because someone will always be smarter, prettier, quicker, more productive, better connected. I want to stop competing and start creating. And I want to share what I create – with all of you.
I almost left this post unpublished, because it touches on some incredibly deep fears for me. The things I am about to share make me feel raw and vulnerable. Exposed. Unquestionably.
Celebrate The Successes of Others
One of my biggest complaints about “our community” is the speed with which petty jealousies emerge. I’ve stood on both sides of this issue. I’ve had negative and hateful things said about me by close “friends” and people I’ve never met simply because I achieved a certain level of success, or was afforded an opportunity they were not. And just today, I had to confront my own little green monsters, when a dear close friend shared his most recent (and WELL DESERVED) success.
On days like today, I feel like everyone is passing me by. Like no matter how talented I am, or how good I am at what I do – I’m never going to make it. And then I think, That’s CRAZY!
We’ve all forgotten that “We become like the people and ideas we hang around with”. That when one of us succeeds. We all succeed. Life is NOT a Zero-Sum Game. There’s more than enough success to go around. But if success is what you want, you’ve got to be willing to work for it. Not just covet it. If you see someone achieve something amazing in their life – then congratulate them. Send blessings their way. Then get to work. You’ll be amazed by how quickly similar successes show up in your own life.
Reign In Your Expectations
Expectations are dangerous. They are like a double-edged sword. And having high expectations of others can cause considerable disappointment. Right now, the only expectation I have is that people will do their best in any given moment. And “their best” today might not be the same as “their best” tomorrow.
Because I know my friends, like me, are continually busy – I do not expect them to know what is going on in my life all of the time. Even if they are very close, personal friends. And I don’t expect them to stop living their lives to tend to the tragedies in mine. It’s great if they choose to offer support. But it’s not a requirement of our friendship.
I know from experience that not all people feel this way. In the past, I’ve unknowingly upset quite a few people by my apparent lack of “concern” for their welfare during a major crisis. It is not that I didn’t care. It’s that my caring would not change the situation. We all have a finite about of time and resources. We cannot be everywhere at once. Stop setting the people in your life up for failure. If you want to have high expectations, have them for yourself.
Let’s all put our fears aside, and get busy designing the life of our dreams.
- Even if I never have a Child. ↩
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Erica OGrady is the CXO of Peanut Butter Media. She is currently HOMELESS while working on a project called Twilight & Tea. Erica is a Writer, Adventurer, Explorer who Still Believes in Santa and Following Your Bliss -- For more information Text ERICAOGRADY to 50500
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