Photo by bella lago
I’ve been going through my home this week purging the past – room by room – to make way for my future. Cleaning out drawers and closets, organizing shelves and cupboards, even cleaning under the bed. Finding forgotten memories and even forgotten records of future plans. But it was an old diary with a single entry that stopped me in my tracks. A small pink diary with teddy bears and roses on the cover. The kind of diary that locks on the side with a tiny golden key. The entry inside reads:
January 8th, 1999
You said, “Isn’t it wonderful that the most beautiful day of the year fell on your birthday.”
And I suddenly remembered that it wasn’t all bad. There was a time – although so long ago I can hardly picture it now – that we were happy. There was a time when the words he spoke weren’t colored by lies and betrayal. There was a time when things seemed simple and easy. I sat down and I let myself remember every good moment I could think of – saying goodbye to each of those moments in my mind – the same way I was saying goodbye to the physical objects as I packed them away. And when I was all done – I knew that that would be the first and the last time I would ever think of those memories again.
Isn’t it strange the difference a year makes? They say that birthdays are good for you. In fact, statistics show that people who have the most, live the longest (ba-da-bum). But seriously – I am amazed. I’m amazed by how the person you know best in the world – can become the person you knew. And I’m even more amazed by how little a difference not having that person in your life can make. And that’s when I started thinking about the value we put on “Things” in our lives. Whether those “things” are people or material objects. And how sometimes we hold on to and fight for things – that if we had been paying attention to our heart’s song – we’d know we never really wanted in the first place. And how sometimes happiness is about letting go – and embracing the power of Simplicity.
The Places That Scare You…
Which of course brings me to the theme for Week 4 of ReinventingErica.com – SIMPLICITY. I own several books on Simplicity – but I’ve decided that the book that really captures this theme for me – isn’t specifically about simplicity. It’s about how we view our own lives. The book is The Places That Scare You by Pema Chödrön. I chose this book because I believe that ulimately SIMPLICITY is about being able to be utterly alone with ourselves and like the company we keep. It’s about facing life without self-medicating with TV, the internet, food, phone calls to friends, alcohol & drugs, shopping, or any other “pick your poison” distraction. According to Chödrön, “the essence of bravery is being without self-deception”. And what could be more simple – then living a life free even of the deceptions we tell ourselves? In one of my favorite passages she says:
It’s up to us. We can spend our lives cultivating our resentments and cravings or we can explore the path of the warrior – nurturing open-mindedness and courage. Most of us keep strengthening our negative habits and therefore sow seeds of our own suffering.
Goals for Week 4
- Simplify my emotions down to their essence and core – and then embrace and accept them completely.
- Write with complete honesty and vulnerability.
- Find A Place For Everything – And Keep Everything In It’s Place.
- Practice Walking Meditation.
- Do One Thing At A Time – Remain Present & Focused.
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Erica OGrady is the CXO of Peanut Butter Media. She is currently HOMELESS while working on a project called Twilight & Tea. Erica is a Writer, Adventurer, Explorer who Still Believes in Santa and Following Your Bliss -- For more information Text ERICAOGRADY to 50500