A Rose By Any Other Name…
Kevin Rose, founder of the Social News site Digg.com, was on The Jimmy Fallon Show last night. That got me thinking about how I define Celebrity. The first time I ever met Kevin in person, I was chasing him down 3rd Street in San Francisco. Wait – it’s not what you think. It was actually a photo shoot for the cover of Inc. Magazine. I was stranded due to Hurricane Ike for a little over a week, and staying at Tara Hunt’s house. I remember we were coworking around her dining room table when she asked me if I wanted to go chase Kevin down the street. I was like, “Sure – why not?”.
The title of the photo shoot was: Oh, Shoot: A Hard Day’s Night with Kevin Rose. Kind of a tribute to The Beattles, Technology, and Uber-fame all rolled together. I’m the plump, happy gal in the video (see right) who clearly hates running. It’s funny because Rocky caught the exact moment when Kevin and I first shook hands in that video. But here’s the thing – as cool as it was to meet Kevin Rose, it pales in comparison to the first time I really met Tara.
Meeting Your Heroes
The first time I met Tara Hunt I had no idea who she was. She was the pretty blond who seemed to hang out with that Chris Messina guy a lot. I knew who Chris Messina was because I’d gone to a talk Tantek gave at SXSW in 2006 on Microformats. That was the day I’d first learned about BarCamp. And that was the night I attended my first BarCamp. Chances are that I even met Tara at BarCamp – I know because there are pictures showing both of us there – but if we spoke I don’t remember.
I left SXSW in 2006 filled with energy and passion. I was determined to help organize the first BarCampHouston. And I did. And in the process, I learned about Tara Hunt. Tara it turns out was brilliant. A veritable force of nature. I devoured everything she wrote whether on her blog, on google groups, or on twitter. She became my idol. And I wanted nothing more in the world than for her to know who I was. I even re-wrote my bio to include the following phrase: “She considers Tara Hunt her idol.” In case you’re wondering why I’m sharing this with you, gentle reader, don’t worry all will be revealed.
I was, for all intents and purposes, star struck. The next time I saw Tara in person was at SXSW in 2007. Over the last year, we’d slowly gotten to know each other via Twitter. But we were still relative strangers – and I was still completely star struck. And while Tara was very polite and nice to me at SXSW and BarCamp that year – I’m not sure she really knew who I was. At least not at first. It was during that SXSW that we had the first BarCamp Planning Committee (I think that’s what it was called), at the Driskill Hotel. My dear friend whurley had invited me to come participate, and that’s the first time I really got to talk to Tara and work along side her.
The first time I saw Tara and she remembered who I was – was in Vegas during MIX 2007. Chris & Tara were co-working at a lounge in the Venetian and I introduced them to my sister and Matt. I was so excited because Tara seemed to not only genuinely remember who I was – but be very pleased to see me.
The Danger with Pedastals
I can’t help but feel a little vulnerable and uncomfortable sharing this story with you. But there is an important lesson in here I promise.
It’s human nature to admire greatness, to look up to people who are in some way exceptional. But it’s very difficult to cultivate a true and lasting friendship with someone who you keep on a pedastal. Ultimately, Tara and I became friends (and very close friends I might add) when I realized that she was, afterall, human. In fact, her humanity is a key factor in her overarching success. Her ability to be real and vulnerable is what draws people in. And by her actions, she encourages acts of bravery and everyday rebellion.
Tara is now one of my closest friends. I stay at her house when I go to San Francisco, and she stays with me here in Houston. And we frequently travel together. We’ve been to countless cities with one another including New York, Philadelphia, Austin…you get the idea. And while she’s still a celebrity in my eyes, my definition of celebrity has changed.
Kevin and Alex said on The Jimmy Fallon show that they are always confused when people are scared to approach them or star struck – “We’re just normal dudes,” said Alex. And that’s the absolute truth. People are people whether they are known by millions or known only to themselves. And what people crave most is to be seen and to form deep and lasting relationships with people who care about them for who they are, and not for what they do or who they know.
My friend Francisco Dao is about to release a book called Business Cards Don’t Matter. And I’m going to quote a small section from that book. This is called the Neil Patel Rule:
“It doesn’t matter what you do. The only thing that matters is how awesome you are to be around.”
This year at SXSWi I’m not as interested in meeting tons of people or getting my photo taken with every Tech Celebrity on the planet. This year I’m much more interested in spending time with the people I love and admire, my friends. Who are afterall, the only celebrities that really matter to me.
So if we meet at a party or a panel or in the hallways, don’t tell me what you do for a living. I’m not interested. Instead tell me what moves you, what brings passion to your life, what fills you with fear, and what makes you get out of bed in the morning.
I hope we’ll run into each other 
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Erica OGrady is the CXO of Peanut Butter Media. She is currently HOMELESS while working on a project called Twilight & Tea. Erica is a Writer, Adventurer, Explorer who Still Believes in Santa and Following Your Bliss -- For more information Text ERICAOGRADY to 50500
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Very well put Erica!
I am reminded of the storybook “The Little Prince” where it is said that grownups love figures. When you say you have a new friend, they never ask about essential matters such as “What games does he play, does he collect butterflies, what is his favorite color?” Instead, they demand “How old is he, how much does he weigh, how much money does he make?” It’s a good lesson for us all to remember what matters most and what truly defines us.
Great post, Erica. This is essentially the message I hope to convey in the introduction to my Book Reading presentation tomorrow at SXSW. It took me a few conferences to take the people I admire off of pedestals and just approach them as people.
@lisa – I love Le Petit Prince
Amazing story both in Depth and Scope.
@jason – It’s funny. I think I was a little star struck the first time I met you too. It was in front of the Austin Convention Center – and I saw your name badge and said – are you “THE” Jason Beaird who wrote The Principles of Beautiful Web Design. What I loved about you – was the genuine shock on your face that I recognized your name and made the connection. Hope we’ll connect again this year.
I can’t wait to meet you IRL now. This seals it. Your writing is so concise & beautiful, Erica – seeing your boldface titles o’posts in my RSS reader is like finding a ten-spot in my mothballed spring jacket. I couldn’t sleep last night looking forward to reconnecting w/ my TX’n buds @ sxsw. & after working in ATX w/ musicians, I had*exactly* the same experience – made a conscious decision to stop building artificial walls around my heroes & recognize that true stars are often already in our orbit.
Your fan,
meegs
Your website totally matches your office! Love it!
Beautifully written!
Well, do the degree that you’re a web celeb, Erica, I think you live up to the hype. Hope you’re having fun at South-By…. Hope to run into you!
bit disturbing. found your blog by chance here in switzerland, clicked on tara hunt and decided to follow her on twitter. i already WAS following her. is that weird or what.
I understand what it’s like to feel uneasy sharing such a personal story, but I appreciate the fact that you did. I’m also glad I had the chance to meet you this year at SXSW. You were awesome to be around — plus, Jeremy Tanner vouches for you. That’s all it takes in my world.
It’s funny that I read this after I got back from SXSW. I first met you at Social Media Camp San Francisco in mid-July of 2008. I had been truly immersed in SM for a month when I attended this event and due to an overload of reading, I knew who you were. After your presentation, which I thought was awesome, I went up to you to say hi and introduce myself. You were so genuine and thoughtful and really made me feel like you cared. Two months later at BlogWorld you and I passed in the hall and you said hi. I was like “wow, I think she really remembers me!” Now this year at SXSW, I ask you for an interview for @100Interviews and you say sure and we’re running through the bar at the Driskill trying to find your pink hat to put on Kevin Rose’s head to take a picture. This has way more to say about who you are and not what you do. Glad I know you Erica.
Erica – I’ve been around you on a few occasions and I can wholeheartedly say that – YOU are AWESOME to be around!
great post.