I’ve spent the last couple of months studying Happiness and Love. I’ve read books like The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, The Power of Kindness by Piero Ferrucci, and Happiness by Matthieu Ricard. I’ve watched talks from TED, The Entertainment Gathering, Taste3, and other elite conferences. And I’ve tried (rather unsuccessfully) to curb my road rage, be kinder to my mother, to care more deeply about my friends, and to be nicer to myself.
And then I saw this video featuring Comedian Louis CK on Conan last week (see video at right) – and it hit me. As much as we all say we want happiness, when it comes right down to it – we will do anything and everything in our power to ensure that we will NEVER be happy.
So now, I’ve decided to study “Why We Choose to NOT be Happy”. Would love to hear your thoughts on this issue.
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Erica OGrady is the CXO of Peanut Butter Media. She is currently HOMELESS while working on a project called Twilight & Tea. Erica is a Writer, Adventurer, Explorer who Still Believes in Santa and Following Your Bliss -- For more information Text ERICAOGRADY to 50500
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I remember once being asked, “Would you rather be right or be happy?”
And I spent a great deal of energy trying to bridge the either/or scenario, for the most obvious truth to me at that time was that “I am happy when I am right and everyone knows it.”
Now, THAT is a pretty good recipe for unhappiness as I then had to first conquer the world and every opinion in it. I allowed your opinion of how correct I was to influence my happiness.
Any time I say, “I will be happy when….” is an invitation to being unhappy now. Because I don’t have that thing or that opinion right now. But, for me, getting something or winning an argument doesn’t produce much happiness if any – and it has a ridiculous half-life.
Lincoln said that most men are as happy as they make up their minds to be. He got that happiness is a choice abut how we are now. I remember a study on happiness that concluded that working hard towards something that mattered generated more happiness for people than anything else. I think there is a lot of truth to that.
My question would be, if you choose to be happy now, how does that affect your choice in the next right thing to go do now?
@crossmage – I have a friend who says that it all comes down to Expectations. If you have too many expectations for how something should unfold – then you’re bound to be disappointed and ultimately unhappy.
I completely agree that Happiness can be a choice. According to the Dalai Lama, Happiness can be achieved through training the mind. Of course, like anything of great value it’s not easy.
I would advise you to read Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman if you haven’t already. It made me think about happiness in a whole new way.
As far as that video goes, I completely agree with the expectations statement. As technology keeps advancing, we expect more and sometimes, it saddens me how people can think like this, especially when we think of others who may not be as fortunate as we are. It seems so trivial. However, the statement on “everything is amazing” is pretty sketchy. I’d love to hear more about your studies on “why we choose not to be happy.” I wouldn’t go as far as to make that statement, but perhaps I can be convinced.