In my younger days (says the Twenty-Something), I read a lot of self help books. I still do as a matter of fact. I loved Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and Donald Clifton’s Soar with Your Strengths. All these books share one thing in common - they all emphasis the importance of real human connections. Real Communication between Real People.

I still read self help books today, because I know that it’s easier to learn from other people’s mistakes than from my own. Failure, while necessary, is still no fun.

When I lived in San Marcos, I was a member of the Toastmaster’s club. In fact, I won best speaker at 95% of the meetings I attended (whether for a prepared speech — or for Table Topics). When I first joined Toastmaster’s, I was at a pretty low point in my life. At my second meeting I gave the required introductory speech (”Who Are You — And Why Are You Here?”). I wish I still had that speech somewhere, because it was one of the most authentic moments of my life. I remember talking about the personal depression I had suffered — and how long it took me to come to terms with the fact that I needed help. But even then — at the darkest point in my life — I found myself inspiring a room full of people.

At the time I don’t think I really understood the value of transparency and authenticity. I didn’t understand that by allowing myself to be vulnerable, I was able to connect with the people in that room on a human level.

The internet is an interesting place. In a lot of ways it’s helping to foster relationships between people who 25 years ago, might never have crossed paths. I know this is true for me. But at the same time — it’s distancing people from one another in small but important ways.

When was the last time you wrote a letter to your grandmother, husband, or best friend? Not an e-mail — but a real letter? How many of the people on your Twitter or VIRB friend’s list have you actually met in person? How many of them know the real you — and not just your on-line persona? How many of you have created or taken part in local organizations in your community — and made a real human connection?

How many of you now speak in 3 Letter Acronyms and sound bites no longer than 140 characters — because you spend so much time Twittering that’s it’s become second nature?

A lot of the principles that people like Dale Carnegie and Stephen Covey advocate in their books — just aren’t possible in a digital world. And they are great principles.

I’m an early adopter — and I’m also one of the last people to advocate giving up cool new web apps or high tech gadgets. But I don’t think it’s an either or — I think we can have both. I think we can have on-line communities and real world communities. I think we can take our on-line communities off-line — and build real connections.

Note: I just wanted to thank Ed (and Katie too) for my copy of Winning by Jack Welch, and say how cool I think it is that he gives people office time to read great books like this. Ed is my mentor for this very reason. He may be the CEO of an awesome Houston company — but at his core he’s a people builder.

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